The illegal narcotics trade is a thriving economy, with spending medications in the United States alone, reaching nearly $150 billion a year, according to a report 2019. There are many cogs in the business, but none turn without a street Trader meet cloudy-eyed stoners or coke addicts in the passenger seats of cars around the world.
For such a large market, there are no written statuses for users on how to smoothly engage in the transaction process without getting anyone arrested and/or being a total liability. Thus any orientation remains anecdotal or common sense, while the purveyors of psychoactive substances on our planet suffer in silence from the behavior of their clientele. Well, not anymore. I’ve spoken to Pan-Continental dealers – whose names have been anonymized to protect their identities – about how to buy medicine and don’t be an asshole.
Nick, UK: “All it takes is for a neighbor of Karen to see something suspicious”
Sells: cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine
One thing that absolutely pisses me off is when sales [customers] move sloppy. They’re gonna miss my call because they’re drunk in the pub. When they finally pick up, they’ll come stumbling down the street, shouting at the phone and waving money in their hand. It warms me up.
The correct procedure is to come to the driver’s seat rather than the window – you’d be surprised how many people don’t know that. All it takes is for one Karine neighbor to see something suspicious and file a police report with my license plate. I understand that drunk people are my main customers, but if you don’t give a fuck, I’ll just make you wait until next time and go to other sales first. Or I’ll just divert your call. £80 isn’t worth going to jail for.
People need to learn the correct etiquette when picking up. One thing that gets on my nerves is when people send bait text messages like “Hi man, can I have five grams of coke please?” Or new clients I don’t know texting me like, “Hey man, are you on pills?” Think about it from my position. You could literally be anyone. Just ask, “Hey man, I got your X number. I wanted to see if we could meet?” I’ll call you then. If it’s a reseller you already have a relationship with, just say “Hey man, are you there?” and mention your location. Or give them a call, especially if it’s a larger order.
Joel, Australia: “First-time buyers during festival season are amateurs”
Sells: Weed and MDMA
The most important thing to me is people expecting you to sit there and have a set of 20 questions about what you’re selling. I’m like, ‘That’s a $20 AUD (£11) or $50 (£28) bag of weed, man. Buy it and come back to me if you like it. If you don’t, that’s cool too. There are plenty of other dealerships out there. They are always first-time customers who have been referred somewhere. Go ask your referrer. Don’t waste my time because it’s not worth it for a $20 sale.
MDMA has brought different irks, the biggest around the summer festival season. Many newbies who buy then are just absolute amateurs. They’ll ask me to divide a gram into four because they’re too lazy to figure out how to do it. This kind of people also asked me if it was “pure”. If you know anything about drugs, then you will know that there is no “neat” at street level. Of course, I’ll tell you that’s a good thing, but if you’re worried – which is absolutely fair – then get it tested.
Lucia, United Kingdom: “Everyone expects everything in two clicks”
Sells: Instagram Edibles
In the days of Amazon, everyone expects everything in two clicks and comes the next day. But Amazon has an inexhaustible supply of manpower and infrastructure. We’re a small team busy working on the side of full-time jobs with, believe it or not, normal lives. We have set postage days and cut-off times. If you miss the cut-off, you’re in the next postal pass. We try to provide the best possible service, but there are only a certain number of hours in the day.
The most annoying customers are those who claim they don’t understand the processes and simply won’t try because of Bitcoin – despite there being hundreds of online guides to setting it up, including one that we have created. We couldn’t make it simpler. Also: customers who start a new email channel every time they want to ask a question or place a new order. Why? It’s so much easier to keep all the details in one place.
One last thing: QUESTIONS! We are happy to help and our reputation speaks for itself. But if we’re on our sixth email, covering all the bases and you still haven’t ordered, then don’t be offended if our response time is dedicated to those who want to go through the process before the deadline. .
“The Prophet”, Italy: “Do not spam me with calls”
Sells: “Basically, all drugs”
Some people love share their life stories with you. Customers will get in the car and we’ll be stuck with them for ages, listening to how their parties are going or moaning about what’s going on in their lives. I’m an easy going guy but I’m busy. Let’s keep it quick and move on.
I hate it when I show up and someone only has half the money and the other half they want to fire. Or they have no money at all. I have to pay bills and rent and always set fair prices for customers, so I find that quite disrespectful.
Do not spam me with calls. I work in a party town and my standard response to anyone who contacts me is that I’ll be there in 15 minutes, but it’s rare that I’m actually there at that time. Let’s say I get four pings and tell them 15 minutes. We’ll get his five minutes early – the last drop will be ten or 15 minutes late. That’s how it goes and you can text me if I’m five to ten minutes late. But don’t spam me with calls.
People buy white [cocaine] are probably the worst. It is an expensive drug and many will try to leverage it to save money. Maybe they’ll complain, or force me to come faster or they’ll go somewhere else. I used to take a lot but it never made me go back to fucking people or losing my principles. We are normal people and as long as people behave calmly and friendly there will never be a problem. We have friendships through cold customers and we even hang out sometimes. If you’re easygoing and we hang out together, all the treats are home anyway.